~ Submitted by the Bedford Scallion
Today is Election Day – it is once again the most important election of our time. No matter what happens, half of the country is facing a dystopian future.
One thing I think we can all agree on is
“THANK GOODNESS THE ADS WILL STOP!!!”
As annoying as all those ads were, they had a life of their own. What are we going to do now? We no longer have to stop and think whether it is appropriate for a future homeowner to worry about the consequences of the potential capital gain tax he may have to pay if he makes a profit over his allowance 30 years down the road. When I bought my first house, that’s what kept me up at night! No longer will we be reminded that Maggie Hassan was responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs and anything bad that happened after.
Who will be there to tell us about who is, and who isn’t “A Disaster.” We won’t have candidates nostalgically look at the good time we all enjoyed back in 2020. Ah, we were all so carefree! The insurance requirements of dental insurers will blissfully return to the realm of introverted bureaucrats.
What are we going to do? Don’t despair – The 2024 election starts tomorrow
Editor’s Note: The Scallion is a lighthearted attempt to poke gentle fun at ourselves. It’s satire and not to be taken too seriously.