A lifelong friend. A “loving, supporting couple.” A devoted grandmother. A “Shining Star.”
Friends and associates say Mark Cavallaro and his longtime partner Thelma Tatten, both 56, of Genetti Street, must be remembered for much more than the tragic end to their lives.
Both were shot to death in a parked car on Washington Street the morning of June 6. Their daughter, Jessica Cavallaro, has been charged with two counts of murder.
The day after his death, Cavallaro was awarded in absentia the designation as a Shining Star for his accomplishments at Opportunities, a program of the Edinburg Center on Burlington Road. News of his death hadn’t reached the center.
Joanne McKenna, a vice president at the Edinburg Center, was director of Opportunities when Cavallaro began attending in 2015. She described Opportunities as a psychiatric day treatment program, a place where “people go to learn skills,” through group therapy and activities. “People talk about their struggles and try things out in a safe and supportive environment.”
“He was a musician. He loved music and recently brought that to the program, teaching people guitar,” said McKenna. “So not only was he bringing music, which is very therapeutic for people, but he was teaching people a skill.”
Cavallaro’s lifelong friend Steven Hylander is a drummer who played with local bands. He said Cavallaro taught himself to play guitar. “Mark was painfully bashful. It took a lot to draw him out. But he put intensity in something that he really wanted.”
“When you needed him, he was always there,” Hylander said, especially “when you needed a laugh.”
Hylander’s wife Kathy was close with Tatten. “If I had a problem I could call her up. It didn’t matter what time of the day. She was like a sister.”
According to Cavallaro and Tatten‘s obituaries from the Brasco Funeral Home in Waltham, the two “beloved and steadfast partners” are being buried privately, in separate cemeteries. A “celebration of life” honoring their memories is scheduled for Sunday from 2 to 6 p.m. at the Lexington Elks Club, 959 Waltham Street in Lexington.
Hylander said he and Cavallaro grew up together in Waltham. “I was in CCD class with Mark in fourth grade. We were latchkey kids. We were each other’s support system growing up. We got so close we almost had a twinspeak. Our houses were built over ruins of colonial farms. Mark would find the remains of old bottles. He loved learning about those historical times and built a bottle collection.”
The two had after-school jobs at the Fernald School more than 40 years ago. Sometimes after their shift they would creep into a nearby culvert and watch locomotives speed by, Hylander recalled. They graduated from Waltham High School in 1985. Hylander said his friend worked as a welder and played a lot of hockey in his 20s. He ended up taking early retirement after two hip replacements.
Cavallaro was married and divorced, and he and Tatten got together 26 years ago. Hylander said Tatten was a year behind them at Waltham High. “Thelma had a baby boy, Ryan. And now there’s a grandson, Jamison, and he was their whole world. The sun rose and set around their grandchild.”
Kathy Hylander said the two couples were best of friends. “We went out together a lot – to Grassfield’s, to the park, to just go hang out.” Indeed, Kathy Hylander said, the two women last spoke on the night before Tatten died. “We were going to go out Friday night, to hear some music, a night out for the four of us.”
Her husband said that although the two were not affiliated with a house of worship, “They had a strong belief in God.”
Tim Little, lead clinician for Opportunities, was the Shining Star presenter at the Edinburg Center. “Mark has become an outstanding role model for his peers, leading by his own example,” Little said. “He has a great attitude, going out of his way to be positive and authentic, and to make everyone feel welcome. He is insightful and vulnerable in sharing with and providing support to others. He also adds depth and curiosity to group discussions, both as a participant and as a peer facilitator.”
Little described how Cavallaro started a band at the center. “Just over a year ago Mark was talking about his love for music and his dream of someday sharing that passion. Mark challenged himself to seize the moment, taking the initiative to propose, develop, and lead a guitar-skills group for his peers.”
“Over the course of just a few months, Mark’s dream became a reality, and the group became The Elements! who performed for the first time at our winter holiday party. They are still going strong, working together under Mark’s guidance on a variety of covers as well as their own original material.”
Little continued the Shining Star presentation, “Mark’s challenge to himself to pursue his dream seems to have bolstered his self-confidence, to have instilled a sense that he has something of value to offer… and that he himself matters.”
Hylander said he didn’t really know his friends’ daughter, but he insists they had a loving relationship. “It was amazing how good parents they were,” he asserted. “Her father was everything in the world to her.”
Each of the victims has extensive families. Cavallaro is survived by his mother and four siblings. Tatten is survived by her stepmother and five siblings.
Tatten worked for the Massachusetts Medical Society for 36 years, most recently as a web content production specialist with the New England Journal of Medicine.
The Opportunities community numbers more than 50, McKenna said, and Cavallaro was “such a role model for people. When we lose somebody, we make sure what they brought – his legacy -lives on.”
Donations may be made to The Edinburg Center, Inc., 205 Burlington Road, Bedford, MA 01730.
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