Covid-19 has changed everyone’s life, it’s scary and very disruptive. A pandemic is not something most households really ever plan for. One of the rather strange things happening is the run on toilet paper. Toilet paper? Really? Soap, Purell, Food, Masks… these all make sense. But toilet paper?!?
Apparently the “run” (pun intended) on TP is not completely without justification. The current scarcity of toilet paper is a residential scarcity. There seems to be a glut in the commercial market, specifically the 15-inch rolls.
America likes to do their business …you know… at their place of business. This revelation puts a whole new spin on the term “essential business.” Also, think of all your co-workers whom you were sure didn’t do “bleep” at work, actually were… literally doing “bleep.”
This revelation answers some of those questions. Waiting 45 minutes for coffee at Starbucks? Oh! I get it now!
Also, this invariably will lend itself to entrepreneurial ventures. You can see the late-night TV commercial ready to come:
Introducing, New from Ronco, The Commercial Roll O-Matic converter kit. When you’re done eating your julienne fries, relax knowing you have a fifteen-inch roll of TP waiting in the next room. ACT NOW!!
This home use of industrial toilet paper could have consequences down the road. Imagine when the shutdowns are over, a group of teenagers armed with 15-inch rolls, taking aim at some poor house — OY.
The lockdown will end and we *will* go back to … business … at our place of business.
Editor’s Note: The Scallion is a lighthearted attempt to poke gentle fun at ourselves. It’s satire and not to be taken seriously!