Pole Capping Day to be Renamed Eastern European Capping Day in Attempt to be More Inclusive

Submitted by The Bedford Scallion

After years of complaints from those Eastern European residents who felt that too much emphasis was being given to the small but powerful Bedford Polish community, the Slavs, the Czechs, and the Estonian community got together and petitioned the town, arguing that they too wanted to be included in the celebration.

When it was pointed out that the holiday has nothing to do with Polish heritage, that it was actually about putting a cap on a pole, signifying resistance to the British during the American Revolution, the spokesman for the Estonians said, “Nah, you must be kidding, you actually climb a pole and put a hat on it?”

When told about the long tradition, the parade, the pancake breakfast and all the other activities, he just kept shaking his head.  “A hat?  …  On a pole?  …  With a parade?”  Undaunted, they pressed on for the name change.  Faced with the prospect of litigation, the town capitulated to the demands.  So, at 10:30 on Saturday morning, we hope you enjoy the EE Capping celebration.

Editor’s Note: In the venerable tradition of The Onion, and its satirical point of view

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